Thursday, 24 October 2019

The Diet That Works - poems satire


Range Rover Rachel is preparing to pray
She checks her mascara, her hair seems okay
She assembles her prayer-stool, it's upholstered with wool
Her brown shiny knees won't become at all dull

Places prayer stool on carpet, it was made in Iran
Many coloured but subtle, won't compete with her tan
You can buy them mail-order, or online from Habitat
She prays for her midriff - three ounces of puppyfat

''Kensington, Atkins, high protein or none?
I've tried every diet but the lard hasn't gone
I've bought special devices, focus workout on tummies
I've tried to stop eating by sucking at dummies.''

Didn't expect an answer, but a vision she's seeing
Thank God for body-hugging, guaranteed panty-line free, super-absorbent undies, Rachel fears she is peeing
''YOU WONDER,''   says 'god',
  ''WHICH SCHEME MAKES YOU THINNER?
THE HUNGRY AND HOMELESS 
 INVITE THEM TO DINNER.''

Tags:   poems, satire, sociology,
 
Copyright Peter Fairbrother

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